Celebrating my first anniversary of life without social media
A year ago, I deleted my Instagram, which was my last remaining social media account. It was a part of my life for about 15 years, until I finally decided that I’ve seen enough.
Life beyond social media
A life without social media seems almost unimaginable, as it is so deeply embedded in our culture. Now that I’m done with it, I’d like to reflect and share some of the findings from my first social media free year.
To live without social media isn’t anything new. I was in my late 20’s when social media, as we now know it, emerged. Before that I (among billions of people throughout the history) was living without it, because it didn’t exist yet. Returning to the yesteryear’s lifestyle wasn’t therefore as unfamiliar as I initially expected. For the most parts, becoming an Instagram luddite has been a positive experience.
I have to say that I initially (circa 2013—2018) really liked Instagram, right up to the point when it became a TikTok clone. I always thought TikTok was idiotic to begin with. It was frustrating to to see my beloved Instagram turning into a wannabe TikTok and that’s when my lingering exit began.
Top findings thus far…
1. I continue to exist. Leaving social media may seem like seizing to exist, but my online presence isn’t the entire truth and not the real me. No one has yet to frown upon me even though I was semi concerned to be seen as a weirdo or a stand-out loner.
2. No mindless scrolling. It feels extremely refreshing to be free from scrolling. There is loads of more time for more fulfilling stuff, like hobbies and running errands. My screentime has plummeted, because most of my smart phone use was based on social media. Without social media, the smartphone is not actually that stimulating. It is just a phone with Spotify and WhatsApp. Scrolling takes way too much time without even noticing it and gives very little back making it a very poor investment of time.
I’ve also returned to meaningful “content” such as books and cinema. I was a pretty avid reader to begin with and now I seem to be getting so much more from reading.
3. Better cognitive abilities and thinking skills, sharper mind and senses. It literally feels that I got my brains back. I kid you not, I don’t feel like a zombie anymore. I have better concentration, sharper memory and better problem solving skills. I don’t suffer from digital neurosis or anxiety anymore. (Don’t get me wrong though, I’m still such a dummy.)
4. Creative freedom. As a creative person, I’m now making art on my own terms and not valuing it through engagement performance. Likes and followers are meaningless now and engagement isn’t the driver for artistic expression anymore. I’m not trying to anticipate what kind of work will succeed, allowing that to dictate the direction of my artwork.
These days artists tend to complain that they are “born to make art but forced to make content.” But no one is forcing though. It is an illusion, like rotting in a prison cell and not realising that the door has been unlocked the entire time. You are totally free of reclaiming your artistic freedom and your entire life for that matter.
5. More enjoyment from real interactions. Not being exposed to the hyper-reality that is characteristic of social media, has made me more sensitive to daily encounters. No matter how good looking people are out there, if there is a touch screen in between, I’m not into it. There is no real eye contact or touch involved. Being engaged in a real conversation and receiving a nice smile from some one, on the other hand… *biting lip* 👌
Life without social media has made me realise that it is an isolated bubble, not the real world. Sounds obvious but, the trouble is that being inside it, it blends into the reality, making it so much harder to realise. Stepping out of it makes you realise that it is an illusion, almost like waking up from a nightmare.
6. Breakaway from toxic online culture, algorithm-driven aesthetics and engagement baits. One concerning issue was to see over-sexualised TikTok content taking over social media. If you think it is something that the male audience generally lusts for, you may want to take a closer look.
There is something about it, that just feels off. TikTok sexuality is an isolated ecosystem of its own, filled with problems and troubling complexities. I don’t find it appealing, just exploitative. There were a number of times when I honestly didn’t understand what exactly I was looking at and whether it was supposed to be attractive.
In social media, there is a dynamic where the performance of sexiness becomes less about sensuality or connection, and more about attention capture. It’s a kind of sexuality optimized for the scroll — fast, loud, repetitive, and exaggerated. It’s not about intimacy or even genuine eroticism, but about hooking eyeballs instead.
Social media rewards content that triggers engagement (likes, shares, watch time). The algorithm has learned that certain body movements and visual cues hold attention — not necessarily because they’re attractive in the classical sense, but because they stimulate a lizard-brain response. But just because something makes people stop scrolling doesn’t mean it resonates or feels meaningful. It is sexuality without sensuality. The absence of grace, depth or taste — qualities that normally give sexual expression emotional weight, are absent. Sex appeal according to TikTok often lacks any emotional or personal context. It’s depersonalized — a kind of simulated sexuality that is aesthetically hollow.
Men don’t universally respond to this kind of content the way the platforms seems to assume. In fact, for many it can feel empty, exploitative and even sad. Attraction isn't just about skin and motion — it’s about charisma, authenticity, confidence, personality... all the stuff algorithms struggle to quantify.
7. The endless current of selfies. Yeah… I think I’ve just about seen enough them.
The trade-offs
1. Disconnecting from friends. Instagram was something of a phonebook for me and a good way to stay in touch, so letting go of it was a bit of a sacrifice. Sometimes I think whether it was damaging to my social life, but since I’ve been keeping in touch with people via traditional ways, I’m leaning towards thinking, that leaving Instagram didn’t turn me into a complete hermit.
2. Fewer channels to share artwork. This one is a biggie, but since Instagram turned out to be a pretty bad outlet for photography anyways (excluding the first years of Instagram, when it was actually image based) it wasn’t that big of a loss. I’m actually quite happy to just run an old school website for displaying my photography. Sometimes I miss posting stuff, but not nearly enough to return.
3. Missing out on memes and reels. I’m not going to lie… a good laugh is a good laugh. 🤣
To wrap this up, I’m generally not missing social media. Or that is to say, I don’t miss the social media that it turned out to be. The first years of Instagram were good, and back in the day, I really liked the platform, but those days are long gone, and the shit hole it is today, I can hardly miss. The threshold for leaving is high. Surprisingly high, but there is life beyond social media and detoxing it will only make life so much richer. With that being said… see you at some café. I’ll buy you a coffee. 🙏☕️
